Top Ten (Thirteen) Things to Do Before I Die

1.  Knock someone out and steal their clothes - Then I'll break in to the facility and foil all their dastardly schemes.

2.  Invent Something - Something cool, like masers.

3.  Have Kids - Gotta replicate that DNA.

4.  Get a helicopter piloting license - You never know when that will come in handy.

5.  Have a mathematical constant named after me (can that happen while you’re still alive?) - If I have to be dead first, I guess I would settle for a Nobel Prize.

6.  Wear a Class A Hazmat Suit and a Tuxedo - Preferably on the same day, double preferably at the same time.

So Cool

7.  Become a God-King - It would be a tough job, but I think I could handle it.

8.  Solve a serious problem with my penis - Bonus points if it’s a problem I created with my penis.

9.  Get something published or get my name in credits - at a moderately impressive level anyway.

10.  Live Forever - why not.

11.  Cross an Ocean - There are Australians over there.

12.  High Five Ryan North - Tall people give the best high fives.

13.  Punch a Dolphin in the face - They're just asking for it.