2013/07/31

Top Ten (Twenty One) Video Games

                I’ve been hesitant to write about video games on this blog. It’s not the most accessible topic as I’m prone to use lots of jargon while discussing it, but then I realized that my word choices probably lead to a few unfamiliar terms in many of my posts (lubricity is such a perfect word for describing dolphins). What follows is a collection of mini-rants about the games that have left the largest impression on me through my life. These will probably be completely meaningless to anyone who hasn’t played the particular games and many of them are obscure, so here goes.

1.  Diablo II: PC – This game combines power fantasy and the experience of looting and leveling in the perfect mix. Add in tight and simple game mechanics that still involve variety and depth, and you get what I consider to be a timelessly good game. I did some further writing about this game on a short lived Diablo III blog. In short, this game is pure freebased fun, without any intrusive story, moral choices, or visual setpieces. What it does have is a bunch of monsters to kill, loot to collect, and levels to gain, and that is all you need.

2.  Morrowind: X-box – This was the peak of immersive world gaming for me. I once wrote a long manifesto against the evils of instant travel and level scaling that has ruined this genre for me, but I won’t subject you to all that. What I do like is a large open world packed with things to see and do, but where nobody sleeps because I really don’t enjoy needing to wait around for my favorite pawn broker to open their shop. This game also had great power fantasy value paired with a sense of progression, since you need to gain a few levels before you become an invincible being of pure adventure (in Diablo II you basically start out as a rabid tsunami of extirpation)

3.  Halo: X-box – My personal peak of the shooter genre. A fun campaign (except the Library, screw that level) with solid co-op, and the best multiplayer game I have ever experienced. The multiplayer was so good due to the majesty that is a LAN party, before the days when easy online multiplayer made LAN mainly a thing of the past. Also, more guns in a game are not better, especially when all you could possibly need is a single scoped pistol.

4.  NBA Jam: SNES – The Jams; they can only be matched by the Slams. For those not familiar with this game, it is 2v2 basketball where you always use the sprint button, you can do triple front-flip dunks from the free-throw line (along with many other fun and exciting dunk animations), defense consists of shoving your opponent to the ground, breaking the backboard is a common occurrence (but only in the fourth quarter or overtime), and you can play as Bill Clinton and Al Gore but not Michael Jordan. I should also mention that every game is a nail biter, the commentary is delightfully over the top, and I have become physically sore while playing this game because it’s so intense.

5.  Command and Conquer (Tiberian Dawn): PC – This is my first real experience with RTS games and it is therefore indelibly etched into my memory. Factors that make it still stand out for me are the lack of a population cap and slowly renewing resources that means the only limit on army size is the time you’re willing to spend building it and the amount the game engine can handle before crashing. I also like the old school tile base unit placement, so that I can make walls of tanks. Other factors are a great mix of modern tech with science fiction elements, a stupendous soundtrack from Frank Klepaki, and Joe Kucan (and his most sinister goatee).

Joe Kucan as Kane
Pretty sure at least 99% of Kane's charisma comes from the facial hair

6.  Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic: X-box – This game still has the best story and the best characters of any game I have ever played. The act 2 plot twist legitimately blew my mind, and the fact that I could seduce Bastila also blew my mind. I have fond memories of Carth and Bastila like they were actual childhood friends, and still have strong hostile feelings towards Jolee Bindo. I also think that Mission’s butt gave me xenophilia (if you are outraged at this comment about a 14 year old character you should know that I was 14 when this game came out). The dark side ending was pretty sweet too.

Mission's Butt
What can I say, I was pretty easily aroused at 14

7.  Age of Empires II: PC – The top things I like about this game (plus expansion) in order are Petards, Trebuchets, and building walls (so many walls). I also learned some semi accurate history, which is nice. This game really hit my favorite historical period for reenacting battles, since guns just take all the fun out of everything and gaining a huge tactical advantage from having longer lances than everyone else isn’t cool enough for me. The huge variety of historic factions is also great, because who hasn’t wanted to see war elephants fight Vikings?

8.  Portal: PC – The smartest game I have ever played. Not just because it involves clever puzzle solving and intelligent humor, but also that fact that Valve (my favorite developer, see Half-Life and Team Fortress 2 from this list) exhaustively play tested the game and tweaked and trimmed everything to give the best possible experience. The game mechanic of placing and moving through portals is also brilliantly fun and interesting, and I have enjoyed simply playing with portals almost as much as the structured game.

9.  Half-Life: PC – Any game in which you get to play as a theoretical physicist is pretty good by me. Not only does the story involve physics but there are fun physics gameplay elements as well, and visuals that got everything out of the existing technology of the time. I played this game after having already played the sequel, and I was totally satisfied with the graphics (I played with my graphics boosted by Blue Shift, so they were a little better than the original). This game just has an old timey charm (in computer terms anything more than ten years old is old timey) and simplicity that is the reason I prefer it over the newer sequel.

10.  Bioshock: PC – This game wields atmosphere like nothing I’ve ever played. The richness and detail of the under-water, Ayn Rand-esque dystopia is superb. Everything is really original and fits together flawlessly. This game is a perfect example of how video games can be a superior medium for storytelling. The gameplay is also fun, which is basically just bonus.

11.  Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past: SNES – This game had a religious status for me when I was younger. In the game I felt that everywhere I went there were things to do, explore, and puzzle out. The mechanic of collecting items to gain skill to then solve more puzzles to collect more items was very engaging and satisfying. When I call my regard for this game religious I’m not exaggerating. Once when I was young I made a prayer to the “Zelda Gods” to help me win a pinewood derby. It must have worked because I did end up winning (that or my Dad is just wicked good at making pinewood derby cars).

12.  Dynasty Warriors III: X-box – This is something that I consider to be a cult favorite. The premise is you play as your favorite warrior in ancient China using various logical (a spear), illogical (a 6’ long 2’ wide sword), or extremely illogical (a flute) weapons to kill hundreds of regular soldiers and every enemy officer you can find. You also level up and get loot and stuff, and at this point in the series there was the smallest hint of a story connection the battles. This is another power fantasy game, but playing cooperatively has also been a major part of the game for me since I have almost always played it with friends. I like this game so much (and the later sequels) that I read the books it was base on.

13.  Heroes of Might and Magic III: PC – Another cult favorite, this time a Turn Base Strategy game with a fantasy setting (if you couldn’t guess from the name). It features various factions (knights, demons, elves, and orcs are common among others), and heroes with might or magic based abilities to aid you in your conquests, naturally. Army unit numbers often exist in the hundreds if not thousands which is entertaining, even if they only operate as a single chess-piece-like unit in combat. Favoritism is a major component of why I like this game, since picking a favorite faction and favorite heroes and then trying to use them exclusively is something that I enjoy. I have also played the many games of this series (the third being the best one in my opinion) with friends quite a bit through my life, and when I have many such fond memories tied to a game it’s not surprising when it shows up in my top ten (twenty one).  

14.  Grand Theft Auto: Vice City: X-box – Inspiration from the 1980’s makes any game better. This is my favorite iteration of the Grand Theft Auto series, which are the king of the open world sandbox genre. Other than the 80’s reference, in this game I had a mansion with a helicopter on the roof, and none of the other games can compete with that. If I had to explain why GTA games are fun I guess I would say freedom (to crash cars and get into gunfights with police?).

15.  Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa: PC – As a person with a semi-sarcastic love of Space Jam and the basketball scene in the 90’s, plus disdain for Japanese Role Playing Games, it’s like the humor in this game was made specifically for me (straight faced absurd humor is also a favorite of mine). When I first read the Wikipedia page about this game I just thought it was a joke because nothing so ridiculous could actually exist, but later when I played the game it was even more ridiculous than the Wikipedia plot summary.  The whole thing was created as a freeware game by some guys on the internet, and I admire that open sourceness.

Shut Up and Jam
Boo-yes

16.  Arcanum: PC – My definition of dialog based RPG’s. After this game I always play charismatic characters when I can due to how much I enjoyed gathering follower and solving problems with persuasion rather than force (no other game has been as satisfying since). I also fell in love with the world of the game. A deep steampunk fantasy universe, and the concept of magic and technology having difficulty operating in the same area is genius. This game even had my favorite ending of all time, when after the game was over they went back and showed how every town and village you had visited had been changed by your actions, for good or for bad.

17.  Super Mario World: SNES – A classic. I’m not totally sure what makes gameplay of moving from left to right through a level while trying not to bump into any bad guys so entertaining; I just know that it is. This game also featured many alternate level solutions to create multiple paths through the world, and that was a nice puzzle solving aspect. The 16-bit soundtrack is also redolent of my childhood.

18.  Splinter Cell Chaos Theory: X-box – My choice of the stealth genre. I prefer my stealth slow and methodical with creative ways to climb through the levels. This game also had my favorite co-op campaign of all time. The amount of tandem climbing moves, belayed descents, and timed take downs really hit the spot for me. Those night vision goggles are dead sexy by the way.

19.  Luftwaffe Commander: PC – A World War II fighter pilot flight simulator game, this one is pretty obscure. The experiences of shooting down French bombers, dogfighting with low flying Russian fighters, and dead-sticking a damaged plane back to earth were all things that I really enjoyed. It had enough realism to be fun (like jettisoning my long range fuel tank), but not too much to get in the way (I’d shot down over 250 enemy planes by the end of the war, and crashed at least a dozen planes of my own).

20.  Toy Commander: Sega Dreamcast – I never actually owned this game (or a Sega Dreamcast), but I have very fond memories of playing it at a friend’s house. The concept of the game was that you played as toy planes and trucks within appropriately scaled house environments. We used to engage in four player dogfights and it was one of my favorite multiplayer experiences of all time. The levels were always dense and maneuvering through the household objects was a large part of the gameplay. The selection of units to play as was also very diverse (I always picked helicopters, because even back then I strove to be different), and we would often pick vehicles from the same time period to add extra flare to the matches. 

21.  Team Fortress 2: PC – This game got me through some troubling times. I hated the experience of living in the dorms during my first two years of college, and I turned to escapist gaming to deal with it. I started out playing World of Warcraft, but since I’m not really into social gaming (or social anything) I never fit into the culture. I used it as a way to stay connected to people I knew from home, but I slowly grew to despise MMO’s due to the fact that social skills were too tied to game progression and the general trend of gameplay simplification (I went through one patch too many). I convinced one of my friends to join me in leaving the MMO scene and we went to Team Fortress instead (he was in the Navy and I believe as unhappy with his situation as I was). While still a social game (with a competitive focus), we played it as partners or rivals, with the relationship between us being the only one that mattered, and all the other players as just a part of the game. This game combined with a no talking policy between me and my roommate was largely responsible for keeping me sane during my second year of college.

      I think this list does a good job of showing what I love about video games. They have stupendous entertainment value with things like power fantasy and concrete measure of achievement, portray stories in an interactive medium, and are a great way to interact with others. I enjoy activities like baseball and snorkeling too, but I can’t toss a ball around after work with my friend who lives eight hours away. Depending on the game, they involve more thinking that most activities, which I support. These games and others have had large impacts on my life, and I think video games will continue to do so into my future.

2013/07/23

Sarcasm Quotes - Revisited

            I’ve had a change of opinion about my Sarcasm Quotes idea. I’m still a fan of using a superscripted S in place of quotation marks to denote sarcasm, but I also suggested that regional accents should be included in this system. That was a terrible idea. It was brought on by my poor ability to write phonetically, and was basically a tool for laziness. It wouldn’t even work very well since having to write all of a foreign characters dialog with the same quotes would be tedious and wouldn’t carry any more meaning that just establishing an accent once, then using normal quotes. The plan was probably just to use them when making movie references and what not, but the accent is typically implied if the reader is familiar with the quote, so what’s the point?
            My new idea is to stay closer to the idea of sarcasm quotes, and use quotes to show other expressive forms of dialog. I made a new list using single letters that can be found on my Quotes List page.  It now includes quotes like A for Angry, M for Monotone, S for Sarcastic, and W for Whiney. I tried to find an elemental style of speech for each letter, since in my new system the styles are made to be combinable. Now you can write DS for Deadpan Sarcasm, ES for Excited Sarcasm, PS for Pained Sarcasm, or TS for Thoughtful Sarcasm. This makes it possible to not only show general sarcasm in dialog, but the specific type of sarcasm, which I’m pretty excited about. The other styles can be combined as appropriate too, but sarcasm seems to be the easiest one to mix, which is why I still consider it the backbone of the system. Maybe I just want to make sarcasm as fun to write as it is to speak.
            The major flaw with this idea is my own limited understanding of language. Separating and describing the elemental styles of speech seems like a job for a linguist, not for some dude with self-diagnosed Asperger’s. If I had a lot of money I’d fund the creation of a system, similar to how the Shavian Alphabet was done (which is a pretty sweet alphabet by the way, although I think phonetic alphabets should be more careful with their symbol choices so that bad handwriting won’t be a major issue), but I don’t, and working on it myself is more fun anyway. Suggested additions or improvements would be most appreciated though, and the system is still very much in a nascent state. I don’t even have styles for I and Y yet, and can’t think of a way to describe J for Jovial that isn’t exactly the same as E for Excited. The description in general are all fairly crude. I would love to do this well, since a general guide to expressive speech forms would be valuable even if it wasn’t codified into written language, but I just keep struggling with the difference between tone and pitch. I do think I was able to nail Q for Questioning though since a raise in pitch at the end is an easy one. If only everything were that simple.

Shavian Alphabet
The Shavian Alphabet

            In the end, this may just be another idea that is good in theory, but doesn’t really pan out in the execution. It’s fun to think about though, and expect to see some of these new quotes showing up in my future writing. I’m tempted to do some more dialog heavy writing, such as a short story or something to see if this system would be too tiresome when fully implemented (maybe it could spice up my old Jurassic Park erotic fanfiction). Sarcasm Quotes are an ongoing project that I will likely continue in the same random and unscientific manner in which it started. Until the next time.

2013/07/08

Top Ten (Eighteen) Dinosaur Comics

            Dinosaur Comics are probably my favorite thing on the internet. Simply put, it is a web comic featuring dinosaurs in which the same clip art images are used in each comic with different dialog written in. This basic formula has created some of the funniest, most creative, and most thought provoking things that I have ever read. I’ve been reading for over five years now, and the site has also linked me to a large fraction of the other sites I frequent on the internet, so it has had a huge impact on the culture I have absorbed over the last few years. Here are some of my favorites out of the 2,451 comics that exist as of my posting.

1.  #1762 
This is just so impressive to me. To take the phrase “embrace terror” and turn it into something this stupendous is the peak of creativity. I also like the joke about semicolon use.

2.  #1979 
When I first read this I didn’t know where it was going but I knew I was intrigued. Then after reaching the end the realization of how it fit perfectly with hide and go seek blew my mind.

3.  #15 
I can’t explain why I find this so hilarious, but I just do.

4.  #431
The disgusting stories that they tell at the end are the best. I’m not even sure how a disease can be salacious, I just know I don’t what to catch it.

5.  #2150 
Turning the lyrics of an 80’s pop song into a Lovecraft-esque horror story gets me on multiple levels. This comic also feature some of T-rex amusingly named fiction characters. See also Angola Maldives and Antonio Tony.

6.  #2024 
This sort of joke where you describe something in a really highbrow manner and then end with a lowbrow punch line is irresistible to me. I try this style of joke a lot myself but never pull it off nearly as well as this.

7.  #888 
The raccoon and cephalopod neighbors are some of the many recurring characters that only appear off panel. Other such characters include God, the Devil, a tiny elephant that is a product of island dwarfism, a bug on T-rex’s nose, and Shakespeare. The silent panel two is also something that I enjoy.

8.  #2160
Coquettishly is a great adjective. This is another example of mixing highbrow and lowbrow humor.

9.  #2197 
This is actually a rewrite of the hypochondria comic that appeared before it, but adding wizards makes everything better.

10.  #501 
I always enjoy T-rex’s adventure in expression exploration, and adding an adjective to all self-identified nouns is something that I could really get behind.

11.  #1305
I now try to say totally intentional when I hurt myself. I also sometimes feel regrets that conversations didn’t come to their ideal conclusion.

12.  #2079 
The way that thon is used with reckless abandon to the detriment of the English language is a joy to behold. Gender-neutral pronouns are also pretty great. T-rex later decides that “bitches” is the best gender-neutral pronoun, but that’s another comic.

13.  #727 
You should never regret spill something on an architect. They are all terrible people. This comic also feature one of the rare swears that occur in the comic.

14.  #110 
He is so wise in many subjects while so naive in others. Failing to understand the social consequences of your actions is a thing that I can relate to.

15.  #139 
Amnesia is something that I have always thought would be cool. Short term memory loss would also be great (You would have no responsibilities for your actions).

16.  #1945 
Another As She Is Played made it into the list. I enjoy this in spite of the fact that I refuse to play Scrabble because I can’t handle the rejection.

17.  #1205 
Characters interacting with the narrator are great, especially when it’s in an antagonizing manner.

18.  #1127 
Saying ”contrast and compare” is super kulturny (this is my new replacement for classy, just FYI), and Yes, Virginia, There Is A Friggin’ Santa Clause is the best movie title ever.


Looking at my selections, I am willing to conclude that what I enjoy most is this comic’s ability to turn the simple into the sublime, and the jokes base on intellectual concepts and creative uses of the English language. Also the dinosaurs. I've reaped boundless enjoyment from this comic and will likely continue to do so into the future, and I hope that these examples might inspire others to do the same.