Two Weeks Notice

            So I’ve decided to quit my job. But I got better. 

Dive Quest – Revisited

            Diving is still a thing that I’m doing. I don’t call it spearfishing anymore since I’ve given up on carrying a spear. This decision was made for a few reasons. First, while I’m still mad at fish for being able to breathe underwater and not needing to pay taxes (also getting to live in more of the Earth’s volume), I no longer feel the need to stab them in the face. It’s kind of like how I’m more than willing to eat beef, but I wouldn’t want to kill the cow myself. I still fish traditionally, but killing something while you look it in the eyes is different. The whole first reason is purely intellectual, because I still suck at spearfishing (as in rarely finding fish so that I can then fail to take them). Reason two has to be that it is hard to continuously be unsuccessful at something and not change how you do it. Changing locations to try to find fish or getting help from other people weren’t really options that I was interested in, so basically just heroically gave up. Mainly, I quit using my spear because it interfered with the use of my new underwater camera. A seven foot long spear was awkward to swim with normally, but trying to hold it and use a camera at the same time was totally not working out. In the end, I’m undividedly happy about my choice.

            Nothing that would be interesting in narrative form has occurred since I last reported in. I have tried to take other people diving with me on two occasions, but equipment failures foiled both attempts. I’ve also seen other people out diving, but I made no attempt to contact them and stayed as far away as possible, as is my wont (hurray Asperger’s). This post is mainly just a vehicle for sharing some of my pictures, so I guess I will stop wasting time. Here are some of the more attainable fruits of my revised hobby:

A Bass

Another Bass

A sickly Saugeye

A Walleye

Assorted Fish

Baby Fish

            I like these a lot more than any fish sandwich. If I don’t make it in food photography (or foot modeling), I think I might try wildlife photography (feel free to call me National Geographic). 

Top Ten (14) Ubik Outfits

            So I finished rereading Ubik. I noted earlier that the outfits in this book are something that I enjoy immensely and they were just as good the second time. Every time a character is introduced in the book their clothing is described, and it is some of the most outrageous stuff I've ever read. In honor of the recent costume based holiday, I would like to share a list of my favorite clothing descriptions from the novel (I'm going to note the genders of the wearers since I think it adds to the impact). I've already Google searched anything I thought wouldn't be easily visualized (be warned that some contain somewhat scantily clad women, since that is the inherent nature of any internet search).

1.  Fuchsia pedal-pushers, pink yak-fur slippers, a snakeskin sleeveless blouse, and a ribbon in his waist-length dyed white hair - worn by a male

2.  Tweed toga, loafers, crimson sash and a purple airplane propeller beanie – considered a Continental outfit, worn by a male

3.  Green felt knickers, gray golf socks, badger-hide open-midriff blouse and imitation patent leatherpumps –  I'm assuming knickers is short for knickerbockers and not British slang for panties, worn by a male
 
4.  Mohair poncho, apricot-colored felt hat, argyle ski socks and carpet slippers - worn by a male

5.  Natty birch-bark pantaloons, hemp-rope belt, peekaboo see-through top and train-engineer’s tall hat - worn by a male

6.  Cowboy hat, black lace mantilla and Bermuda shorts - worn by a female

7.  Silk sari and nylon obi and bobby socks - worn by a female

8.  Polyester dirndl, long hair in a snood, cowboy chaps with simulated silver stars. And sandals - I enjoy how "and sandals" was its own sentence as written in the book, worn by a male

9.  Electric-yellow cummerbund, petal skirt, knee-hugging hose and military-style visored cap - worn by a male

10.  Old-fashioned, hip-hugging gold lame trousers, and kelp-green mitty (middy?) blouse with egg-sized buttons - worn by a male
 
11.  Ersatz vicuna trousers and gray sweatshirt with full-face portrait of Bertrand Lord Russell - worn by a female

12.  Shift dress the color of a baboon’s ass - I considered Searching "baboon's ass" but then thought better of it, worn by a male

13.  Floral mumu and Spandex bloomers - worn by a male

14.  Maxiskirt - I like to imagine that this is the lone clothing item, worn by a male

            I still laugh every time I read these. The absolute deadpan manner of their inclusion in the book also adds a lot. Apparently fashion in alternate 1992 decided that anything and everything goes. Just the variety and knowledge of clothing names that it would take to write this astounds me. This is all the proof I need to know that Philip K. Dick is a genius.