Showing posts with label Top Ten. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Top Ten. Show all posts

2016/02/04

Top Ten (Twenty Seven) Top Gun Quotes

You know them, you love them. If not, study this list. I’ve added tips on how to use them in everyday life.

1.  /Thumb up, salute/ - I’m not sure if a hand gesture can technically be a quote, but this one deserves it. All purpose, it can be used to signal “You’re looking good”, “Everything’s fine with me”, “See you later”, or “Good job”, along with any other positive messages.

2.  “Talk to me Goose.” - The ultimate conversation starter.

3.  “Negative Ghost Rider, the pattern is full.” - Say this any and every time you reply in the negative.

4.  “Below the hard deck does not count.” - Can be used any time you don’t agree with a decision or outcome. The only possible rebutle is “hard deck my ass”. Feel free to experiment with where you put the emphasis.

5.  “Maverick’s supersonic; I’ll be there in 30 seconds.” - The obligatory response any time someone asks for your ETA.

6.  “God damn it Maverick!” - A general use rebuke.

7.  “Up there we gotta push it. That’s our job.” - Function as a motivational line or a reason for why things got carried away. It can also make your employment sound interesting. You’ve got options.

8.  “I’m holding on too tight. I’ve lost the edge.” - Use this any time you make a mistake in a clutch situation. The more absurd or bathos inspiring the better.

9.  “That son of a bitch cut me off.” - Works equally well for traffic or conversations or any time anybody cuts you off.

10.  “We went like this, he went like that. I said to Hollywood, 'Where'd he go?' Hollywood says, 'Where'd who go?' " – Use it to explain anything that gets lost, screwed up, or confused.

11.  “Bogeys like fireflies all over the sky.” - It’s the paprika of similes. It’ll spice up any story.

12.  “It’s not good, it doesn’t look good.” - For when things don’t look good.

13.  “Come on Mav, do some of that pilot shit.” - Nobody will fail you if you implore them with that line.

14.  “Your ego is writing checks your body can’t cash.” - If you’re worried someone is about to be overcome by their own hubris, use this to rein them in.

15.  “Great Mav, real slick.” - Say it too yourself after a blunder. Referring to yourself as Mav can only help to raise your spirits back up.

16.  “They were abused children.” - Add it any time people walk away from a group conversation.

17.  “Gutsiest move I ever saw.” - A compliment that works in any situation.

18.  “No man, it was a really great move. He was inverted.” - Bust this out if someone questions the actions of a friend, regardless of whether inversion was involved or not. Can also be used as a defense of number 17.

19.  “That’s right Ice… man, I am dangerous.” - In case your loose cannon status is ever in questions.

20.  “There’s two O’s in Goose.” - Slip it in if anyone asks you to correct their spelling

21.  “You can be my wingman any time.” - for when you want to establish a new best friend. If they reply “Bullshit, you can be mine” then you know it’s for real.

22.  “Hollywood, you’re looking good. I’m going after Viper.” - If you ever want to leave a situation early, use this as your excuse. That or “I need to take a shower”.

23.  “Maverick has the ball.” - Works for any time you assume control or authority.

24.  “I want some butts!” - All-purpose angry outburst, or possibly sex proposition.

25.  “This gives me a hard on.” - Don’t be afraid to share your feelings.

26.  “Slider *sniff* you stink.” - If you ever need to insult someone but nothing specific comes to mind. You don’t have to call them Slider, but it helps.

27.  “The simple fact is that you feel responsible for Goose, and you have a confidence problem.” - If a friend is worrying about a past mistake, use this to straighten them out.

2013/12/27

Another Ten (Twelve) Music Videos

            I’m doing another list of music videos because I just really like music videos and found more that should have been on my original list. I like some of these videos more than previously ranked ones, so I’m going to Dewey Decimal them into the old numbering.

1.5  Harden My Heart – Quarterflash
            I’m really ashamed that I missed this one on the first list. This is one of the most dream-like videos that I’ve ever seen. I just wish that my dreams were this good. Rindy Ross in a unitard, 80’s Peter Dinklage, running into younger versions of yourself, and saxophone solos (also featuring Rindy); what I wouldn’t give for a dream with any one of those. Don’t forget dudes in tuxedoes on dirt bikes and an ending where a bull dozer knocks over the set and then someone (also in a tux) lights it on fire with a flame thrower. This is probably the greatest thing that has ever been accomplished in a gravel pit.

2.5  Parking Lot Nights – Ghosthustler
            A Power Glove wearing misanthrope physically assaults people in a parking lot after dark. Beyond the Power Glove it has a lot of other nice 80’s touches; VHS quality, a NES set up on an 80’s TV, breakdancing, lasers, and great music. A hidden gem to be sure.

4.5  Music Is My Radar – Blur
            Synchronized dancing by people dressed to look kind of like robots (body suits and bike helmets) while everyone else doesn’t react to it. The dancing is just hypnotic and great. British talk shows look boring during the not commercial break parts. I like other Blur videos, but this is my favorite

6.5  Taking This Town – Icehouse
            I’ll just start out by saying that I prefer Iva Davies without the mullet. My favorite part of the video is probably the crazy dudes in the colored outfits riding motorcycles through whitewashed ruins, but the crowd rushing out to jam in front of the stage and the painted guys in underwear dancing on the scaffolding were good touches as well. This was the golden age of male homoeroticism right here. Featuring the Fairlight CMI is a nice 80’s touch.

7.5  Take on Me – A-ha
            I was tempted not to do this one because it’s just too obvious, but I think it still deserves recognition. The whole pencil sketches that come to life are great but there’s more than just that. There’s evil Fins, a romance story, cuts to Norwegians playing instruments, and an ending that might be ripping off Altered States.

12.5  Love is a Battlefield – Pat Benatar
            Pat is just such a rebel. She leaves home to strike out on her own on the mean street of City I Don’t Recognize, but when some sleazy dude is bothering a girl in a bar, she and all the other punked out chicks unite and intimidate him with some choreographed dancing (I would be freaked out too if a bunch of women spontaneously started doing that chest shake move at me). When he tries to dance back she throws a drink in his face and then all the chicks dance out of the bar and into the sunrise.

14.3  What Is Love – Haddaway
            Haddaway is being chased around a haunted mansion by some scantily clad, club dancing vampires. It has some decently cool backwards effects and snap zooms into people’s crotches. It’s got something for everyone!

14.7  Playing With the Boys – Kenny Loggins
            This one is special because I actually like two videos for this song. The official one is about a “battle of the sexs” volleyball game. It has lots of high fives, 80’s chicks, an underdog victory from behind, and Kenny Loggins jumping into frame to sing directly into the camera. It's pretty much an entire 80's sports movie in under five minutes. It's easy to read in all the necessary character; the main character who is basically perfect in every way but has confidence issues (red, white, and blue girl), her wise cracking best friend (pink and white), the one with unrestrained sexuality as a primary trait (blonde hair, white top), a quirky foreigner (dark blue top and pony tail, who I read as Swedish), a single black character (black girl), and the duchy/date-rapey bully (guy who does finger pistols). The other video I like is just a series of Top Gun clips, which is hard to beat. You could play any song with scenes from Top Gun and I would like it, but Kenny just takes it over the top. It’s true that “one of life’s simple joys is Playing with the Boys”.

15.5  Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go – Wham!
            Never has the mood of a video matched the song so perfectly. It’s basically the most cheerful thing ever, and that’s even before everyone gets into pastel clothes (which is before the black light scene!). The audience of young women ogling George Michael in his short shorts makes me feel kind of bad for George, but he’s just so happy in the video that this soon passes.

17.3  Physical – Olivia Newton-John
            It got classy 80’s fitness stuff to start out. Then Olivia antagonizes some fat dudes, but when she takes a shower they got really fit. Plot twist when the guys are so fit that they get turned on by each other and they forget about her. She end up playing tennis with another fat guy, so a happy ending I guess. Olivia just oozing sex the whole time is a plus too.

17.7  Ballad of Bilbo Baggins – Leonard Nemoy
            Words fail to describe, so you should probably just watch it. I will say that Leonard Nemoy can add dignity to literally anything. This song is set for a comeback with the new movies and all.

19.  Don’t Look Back – Fine Young Cannibals
            This is the epitome of an 80’s music video for me. I just imagine someone learning the new art of video effects, finding some stuff that looks cools, and making a music video out. The technology was so new that they had no choice but to be original. The video is basically just the band performing the song, but with some well used blurs, smudges, and flashing images they make something that’s fun to watch.

If anything is to be learned by this list it’s that I really love the 80’s, appreciate the 90’s, think the greatest thing you can do in a music video is have the vocalist jump into frame and sing directly into the camera, and enjoy videos with more creativity than budget. I cooled it a bit with the links on this one (I got a little carried away last time).

2013/11/01

Top Ten (14) Ubik Outfits

            So I finished rereading Ubik. I noted earlier that the outfits in this book are something that I enjoy immensely and they were just as good the second time. Every time a character is introduced in the book their clothing is described, and it is some of the most outrageous stuff I've ever read. In honor of the recent costume based holiday, I would like to share a list of my favorite clothing descriptions from the novel (I'm going to note the genders of the wearers since I think it adds to the impact). I've already Google searched anything I thought wouldn't be easily visualized (be warned that some contain somewhat scantily clad women, since that is the inherent nature of any internet search).

1.  Fuchsia pedal-pushers, pink yak-fur slippers, a snakeskin sleeveless blouse, and a ribbon in his waist-length dyed white hair - worn by a male

2.  Tweed toga, loafers, crimson sash and a purple airplane propeller beanie – considered a Continental outfit, worn by a male

3.  Green felt knickers, gray golf socks, badger-hide open-midriff blouse and imitation patent leatherpumps –  I'm assuming knickers is short for knickerbockers and not British slang for panties, worn by a male
 

4.  Mohair poncho, apricot-colored felt hat, argyle ski socks and carpet slippers - worn by a male

5.  Natty birch-bark pantaloons, hemp-rope belt, peekaboo see-through top and train-engineer’s tall hat - worn by a male

6.  Cowboy hat, black lace mantilla and Bermuda shorts - worn by a female

7.  Silk sari and nylon obi and bobby socks - worn by a female

8.  Polyester dirndl, long hair in a snood, cowboy chaps with simulated silver stars. And sandals - I enjoy how "and sandals" was its own sentence as written in the book, worn by a male

9.  Electric-yellow cummerbund, petal skirt, knee-hugging hose and military-style visored cap - worn by a male

10.  Old-fashioned, hip-hugging gold lame trousers, and kelp-green mitty (middy?) blouse with egg-sized buttons - worn by a male
 

11.  Ersatz vicuna trousers and gray sweatshirt with full-face portrait of Bertrand Lord Russell - worn by a female

12.  Shift dress the color of a baboon’s ass - I considered Searching "baboon's ass" but then thought better of it, worn by a male

13.  Floral mumu and Spandex bloomers - worn by a male

14.  Maxiskirt - I like to imagine that this is the lone clothing item, worn by a male

            I still laugh every time I read these. The absolute deadpan manner of their inclusion in the book also adds a lot. Apparently fashion in alternate 1992 decided that anything and everything goes. Just the variety and knowledge of clothing names that it would take to write this astounds me. This is all the proof I need to know that Philip K. Dick is a genius. 

2013/07/31

Top Ten (Twenty One) Video Games

                I’ve been hesitant to write about video games on this blog. It’s not the most accessible topic as I’m prone to use lots of jargon while discussing it, but then I realized that my word choices probably lead to a few unfamiliar terms in many of my posts (lubricity is such a perfect word for describing dolphins). What follows is a collection of mini-rants about the games that have left the largest impression on me through my life. These will probably be completely meaningless to anyone who hasn’t played the particular games and many of them are obscure, so here goes.

1.  Diablo II: PC – This game combines power fantasy and the experience of looting and leveling in the perfect mix. Add in tight and simple game mechanics that still involve variety and depth, and you get what I consider to be a timelessly good game. I did some further writing about this game on a short lived Diablo III blog. In short, this game is pure freebased fun, without any intrusive story, moral choices, or visual setpieces. What it does have is a bunch of monsters to kill, loot to collect, and levels to gain, and that is all you need.

2.  Morrowind: X-box – This was the peak of immersive world gaming for me. I once wrote a long manifesto against the evils of instant travel and level scaling that has ruined this genre for me, but I won’t subject you to all that. What I do like is a large open world packed with things to see and do, but where nobody sleeps because I really don’t enjoy needing to wait around for my favorite pawn broker to open their shop. This game also had great power fantasy value paired with a sense of progression, since you need to gain a few levels before you become an invincible being of pure adventure (in Diablo II you basically start out as a rabid tsunami of extirpation)

3.  Halo: X-box – My personal peak of the shooter genre. A fun campaign (except the Library, screw that level) with solid co-op, and the best multiplayer game I have ever experienced. The multiplayer was so good due to the majesty that is a LAN party, before the days when easy online multiplayer made LAN mainly a thing of the past. Also, more guns in a game are not better, especially when all you could possibly need is a single scoped pistol.

4.  NBA Jam: SNES – The Jams; they can only be matched by the Slams. For those not familiar with this game, it is 2v2 basketball where you always use the sprint button, you can do triple front-flip dunks from the free-throw line (along with many other fun and exciting dunk animations), defense consists of shoving your opponent to the ground, breaking the backboard is a common occurrence (but only in the fourth quarter or overtime), and you can play as Bill Clinton and Al Gore but not Michael Jordan. I should also mention that every game is a nail biter, the commentary is delightfully over the top, and I have become physically sore while playing this game because it’s so intense.

5.  Command and Conquer (Tiberian Dawn): PC – This is my first real experience with RTS games and it is therefore indelibly etched into my memory. Factors that make it still stand out for me are the lack of a population cap and slowly renewing resources that means the only limit on army size is the time you’re willing to spend building it and the amount the game engine can handle before crashing. I also like the old school tile base unit placement, so that I can make walls of tanks. Other factors are a great mix of modern tech with science fiction elements, a stupendous soundtrack from Frank Klepaki, and Joe Kucan (and his most sinister goatee).

Joe Kucan as Kane
Pretty sure at least 99% of Kane's charisma comes from the facial hair

6.  Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic: X-box – This game still has the best story and the best characters of any game I have ever played. The act 2 plot twist legitimately blew my mind, and the fact that I could seduce Bastila also blew my mind. I have fond memories of Carth and Bastila like they were actual childhood friends, and still have strong hostile feelings towards Jolee Bindo. I also think that Mission’s butt gave me xenophilia (if you are outraged at this comment about a 14 year old character you should know that I was 14 when this game came out). The dark side ending was pretty sweet too.

Mission's Butt
What can I say, I was pretty easily aroused at 14

7.  Age of Empires II: PC – The top things I like about this game (plus expansion) in order are Petards, Trebuchets, and building walls (so many walls). I also learned some semi accurate history, which is nice. This game really hit my favorite historical period for reenacting battles, since guns just take all the fun out of everything and gaining a huge tactical advantage from having longer lances than everyone else isn’t cool enough for me. The huge variety of historic factions is also great, because who hasn’t wanted to see war elephants fight Vikings?

8.  Portal: PC – The smartest game I have ever played. Not just because it involves clever puzzle solving and intelligent humor, but also that fact that Valve (my favorite developer, see Half-Life and Team Fortress 2 from this list) exhaustively play tested the game and tweaked and trimmed everything to give the best possible experience. The game mechanic of placing and moving through portals is also brilliantly fun and interesting, and I have enjoyed simply playing with portals almost as much as the structured game.

9.  Half-Life: PC – Any game in which you get to play as a theoretical physicist is pretty good by me. Not only does the story involve physics but there are fun physics gameplay elements as well, and visuals that got everything out of the existing technology of the time. I played this game after having already played the sequel, and I was totally satisfied with the graphics (I played with my graphics boosted by Blue Shift, so they were a little better than the original). This game just has an old timey charm (in computer terms anything more than ten years old is old timey) and simplicity that is the reason I prefer it over the newer sequel.

10.  Bioshock: PC – This game wields atmosphere like nothing I’ve ever played. The richness and detail of the under-water, Ayn Rand-esque dystopia is superb. Everything is really original and fits together flawlessly. This game is a perfect example of how video games can be a superior medium for storytelling. The gameplay is also fun, which is basically just bonus.

11.  Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past: SNES – This game had a religious status for me when I was younger. In the game I felt that everywhere I went there were things to do, explore, and puzzle out. The mechanic of collecting items to gain skill to then solve more puzzles to collect more items was very engaging and satisfying. When I call my regard for this game religious I’m not exaggerating. Once when I was young I made a prayer to the “Zelda Gods” to help me win a pinewood derby. It must have worked because I did end up winning (that or my Dad is just wicked good at making pinewood derby cars).

12.  Dynasty Warriors III: X-box – This is something that I consider to be a cult favorite. The premise is you play as your favorite warrior in ancient China using various logical (a spear), illogical (a 6’ long 2’ wide sword), or extremely illogical (a flute) weapons to kill hundreds of regular soldiers and every enemy officer you can find. You also level up and get loot and stuff, and at this point in the series there was the smallest hint of a story connection the battles. This is another power fantasy game, but playing cooperatively has also been a major part of the game for me since I have almost always played it with friends. I like this game so much (and the later sequels) that I read the books it was base on.

13.  Heroes of Might and Magic III: PC – Another cult favorite, this time a Turn Base Strategy game with a fantasy setting (if you couldn’t guess from the name). It features various factions (knights, demons, elves, and orcs are common among others), and heroes with might or magic based abilities to aid you in your conquests, naturally. Army unit numbers often exist in the hundreds if not thousands which is entertaining, even if they only operate as a single chess-piece-like unit in combat. Favoritism is a major component of why I like this game, since picking a favorite faction and favorite heroes and then trying to use them exclusively is something that I enjoy. I have also played the many games of this series (the third being the best one in my opinion) with friends quite a bit through my life, and when I have many such fond memories tied to a game it’s not surprising when it shows up in my top ten (twenty one).  

14.  Grand Theft Auto: Vice City: X-box – Inspiration from the 1980’s makes any game better. This is my favorite iteration of the Grand Theft Auto series, which are the king of the open world sandbox genre. Other than the 80’s reference, in this game I had a mansion with a helicopter on the roof, and none of the other games can compete with that. If I had to explain why GTA games are fun I guess I would say freedom (to crash cars and get into gunfights with police?).

15.  Barkley, Shut Up and Jam: Gaiden, Chapter 1 of the Hoopz Barkley SaGa: PC – As a person with a semi-sarcastic love of Space Jam and the basketball scene in the 90’s, plus disdain for Japanese Role Playing Games, it’s like the humor in this game was made specifically for me (straight faced absurd humor is also a favorite of mine). When I first read the Wikipedia page about this game I just thought it was a joke because nothing so ridiculous could actually exist, but later when I played the game it was even more ridiculous than the Wikipedia plot summary.  The whole thing was created as a freeware game by some guys on the internet, and I admire that open sourceness.

Shut Up and Jam
Boo-yes

16.  Arcanum: PC – My definition of dialog based RPG’s. After this game I always play charismatic characters when I can due to how much I enjoyed gathering follower and solving problems with persuasion rather than force (no other game has been as satisfying since). I also fell in love with the world of the game. A deep steampunk fantasy universe, and the concept of magic and technology having difficulty operating in the same area is genius. This game even had my favorite ending of all time, when after the game was over they went back and showed how every town and village you had visited had been changed by your actions, for good or for bad.

17.  Super Mario World: SNES – A classic. I’m not totally sure what makes gameplay of moving from left to right through a level while trying not to bump into any bad guys so entertaining; I just know that it is. This game also featured many alternate level solutions to create multiple paths through the world, and that was a nice puzzle solving aspect. The 16-bit soundtrack is also redolent of my childhood.

18.  Splinter Cell Chaos Theory: X-box – My choice of the stealth genre. I prefer my stealth slow and methodical with creative ways to climb through the levels. This game also had my favorite co-op campaign of all time. The amount of tandem climbing moves, belayed descents, and timed take downs really hit the spot for me. Those night vision goggles are dead sexy by the way.

19.  Luftwaffe Commander: PC – A World War II fighter pilot flight simulator game, this one is pretty obscure. The experiences of shooting down French bombers, dogfighting with low flying Russian fighters, and dead-sticking a damaged plane back to earth were all things that I really enjoyed. It had enough realism to be fun (like jettisoning my long range fuel tank), but not too much to get in the way (I’d shot down over 250 enemy planes by the end of the war, and crashed at least a dozen planes of my own).

20.  Toy Commander: Sega Dreamcast – I never actually owned this game (or a Sega Dreamcast), but I have very fond memories of playing it at a friend’s house. The concept of the game was that you played as toy planes and trucks within appropriately scaled house environments. We used to engage in four player dogfights and it was one of my favorite multiplayer experiences of all time. The levels were always dense and maneuvering through the household objects was a large part of the gameplay. The selection of units to play as was also very diverse (I always picked helicopters, because even back then I strove to be different), and we would often pick vehicles from the same time period to add extra flare to the matches. 

21.  Team Fortress 2: PC – This game got me through some troubling times. I hated the experience of living in the dorms during my first two years of college, and I turned to escapist gaming to deal with it. I started out playing World of Warcraft, but since I’m not really into social gaming (or social anything) I never fit into the culture. I used it as a way to stay connected to people I knew from home, but I slowly grew to despise MMO’s due to the fact that social skills were too tied to game progression and the general trend of gameplay simplification (I went through one patch too many). I convinced one of my friends to join me in leaving the MMO scene and we went to Team Fortress instead (he was in the Navy and I believe as unhappy with his situation as I was). While still a social game (with a competitive focus), we played it as partners or rivals, with the relationship between us being the only one that mattered, and all the other players as just a part of the game. This game combined with a no talking policy between me and my roommate was largely responsible for keeping me sane during my second year of college.

      I think this list does a good job of showing what I love about video games. They have stupendous entertainment value with things like power fantasy and concrete measure of achievement, portray stories in an interactive medium, and are a great way to interact with others. I enjoy activities like baseball and snorkeling too, but I can’t toss a ball around after work with my friend who lives eight hours away. Depending on the game, they involve more thinking that most activities, which I support. These games and others have had large impacts on my life, and I think video games will continue to do so into my future.

2013/07/08

Top Ten (Eighteen) Dinosaur Comics

            Dinosaur Comics are probably my favorite thing on the internet. Simply put, it is a web comic featuring dinosaurs in which the same clip art images are used in each comic with different dialog written in. This basic formula has created some of the funniest, most creative, and most thought provoking things that I have ever read. I’ve been reading for over five years now, and the site has also linked me to a large fraction of the other sites I frequent on the internet, so it has had a huge impact on the culture I have absorbed over the last few years. Here are some of my favorites out of the 2,451 comics that exist as of my posting.

1.  #1762 
This is just so impressive to me. To take the phrase “embrace terror” and turn it into something this stupendous is the peak of creativity. I also like the joke about semicolon use.

2.  #1979 
When I first read this I didn’t know where it was going but I knew I was intrigued. Then after reaching the end the realization of how it fit perfectly with hide and go seek blew my mind.

3.  #15 
I can’t explain why I find this so hilarious, but I just do.

4.  #431
The disgusting stories that they tell at the end are the best. I’m not even sure how a disease can be salacious, I just know I don’t what to catch it.

5.  #2150 
Turning the lyrics of an 80’s pop song into a Lovecraft-esque horror story gets me on multiple levels. This comic also feature some of T-rex amusingly named fiction characters. See also Angola Maldives and Antonio Tony.

6.  #2024 
This sort of joke where you describe something in a really highbrow manner and then end with a lowbrow punch line is irresistible to me. I try this style of joke a lot myself but never pull it off nearly as well as this.

7.  #888 
The raccoon and cephalopod neighbors are some of the many recurring characters that only appear off panel. Other such characters include God, the Devil, a tiny elephant that is a product of island dwarfism, a bug on T-rex’s nose, and Shakespeare. The silent panel two is also something that I enjoy.

8.  #2160
Coquettishly is a great adjective. This is another example of mixing highbrow and lowbrow humor.

9.  #2197 
This is actually a rewrite of the hypochondria comic that appeared before it, but adding wizards makes everything better.

10.  #501 
I always enjoy T-rex’s adventure in expression exploration, and adding an adjective to all self-identified nouns is something that I could really get behind.

11.  #1305
I now try to say totally intentional when I hurt myself. I also sometimes feel regrets that conversations didn’t come to their ideal conclusion.

12.  #2079 
The way that thon is used with reckless abandon to the detriment of the English language is a joy to behold. Gender-neutral pronouns are also pretty great. T-rex later decides that “bitches” is the best gender-neutral pronoun, but that’s another comic.

13.  #727 
You should never regret spill something on an architect. They are all terrible people. This comic also feature one of the rare swears that occur in the comic.

14.  #110 
He is so wise in many subjects while so naive in others. Failing to understand the social consequences of your actions is a thing that I can relate to.

15.  #139 
Amnesia is something that I have always thought would be cool. Short term memory loss would also be great (You would have no responsibilities for your actions).

16.  #1945 
Another As She Is Played made it into the list. I enjoy this in spite of the fact that I refuse to play Scrabble because I can’t handle the rejection.

17.  #1205 
Characters interacting with the narrator are great, especially when it’s in an antagonizing manner.

18.  #1127 
Saying ”contrast and compare” is super kulturny (this is my new replacement for classy, just FYI), and Yes, Virginia, There Is A Friggin’ Santa Clause is the best movie title ever.


Looking at my selections, I am willing to conclude that what I enjoy most is this comic’s ability to turn the simple into the sublime, and the jokes base on intellectual concepts and creative uses of the English language. Also the dinosaurs. I've reaped boundless enjoyment from this comic and will likely continue to do so into the future, and I hope that these examples might inspire others to do the same.

2013/05/14

Top Ten (Nineteen) Jurassic Park Quotes


1.  "Don’t get cheap on me Dodgson" - This is just a quote I wish I could use every day. 

2.  "Shoot her, shoot her" - Bob Peck's line delivery is just so good.

3.  "Hold on to you butts" - Classy.

4.  "God help us we’re in the hands of engineers" - This is actually the case far more often than you might think, as in basically all the time.

5.  "Clever Girl" - Still not over how great his line delivery is.

6.  "Dodgson, Dodgson, we’ve got Dodgson here" - I suspect that I might feel that Dodgson related quotes are the sign of a true Jurassic Park fan, or I may just like saying the name?

7.  "Our lives are in your hands and you’ve got butter fingers?" with "I’m totally unappreciated in my time" - An amazing attack and defense on personal character.

8.  "Dr. Grant isn’t machine compatible" - I'm not sure if I think Grant is cool for having this trait, or the trait is cool for being associated with Grant, but it's cool either way so who cares.

9.  "I’m fairly alarmed here" - I'm fairly alarmed that Ian Malcolm is constantly saying really amazing things when no one is around and they aren't being properly appreciated.

10.  "Babies smell" - Truer words were never spoken.

11.  "I won’t tell anyone you threw up" - Dr. Grant is a master of comforting children.

12.  "Big Tim the human piece of toast" - I think he meant it as affectionate?

13.  "They’re flocking this way" - I guess I just enjoy taking a word from a previous statement and then using it in a new context on a basic level. I think that would be a form of pun.

14.  "And bingo… dino DNA" - It really only works with the accent.

15.  "It’s an interactive CD-ROM" - Someone getting excited about a now obsolete technology is entertaining to me.

16.  "Dino… droppings, droppings" - Oh Jeff, you can make any line interesting.

17.  "Are they heavy? Then they’re expensive, put them back" - The opposite is probably true today, but I enjoy that he only needs one attribute to judge somethings worth.

18.  "I hate trees" - You and me both buddy.

19.  "They’re moving in herds, they do move in herds" - This line would make more sense if Dr. Grant's theories about the social behaviors of dinosaurs had been more developed, but the idea of a scientist witnessing evidence for a hard to support theory makes me happy.

2013/03/21

Top Ten (Eighteen) Music Videos


1.  Separate Ways by Journey – Without a doubt, my favorite music video of all time. Features include; singing directly into camera, head snaps into camera changes, talented musician doing terrible air instruments (come on Jonathan, you can air keyboard better than that), industrial waterfront setting, badass aloof 80’s chick (with an “80’s wave” hairstyle which is my favorite thing since the ponytail with bangs), slow motion sequence, and an “it was all a dream” ending. 2:30 is the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life.

2.  Beat It by Michael Jackson – It’s like West Side Story meets The Warriors. Michael ends gang violence (and the craziest knife fight ever) while wearing some really dorky t-shirts (sweet red leather jacket though). Just my favorite of many great Michael Jackson videos.

3.  We’re Not Gonna Take It by Twisted SisterDee Snider defending teenage independence and multiple defenestrations, what more do you need (that dude from Animal House doesn’t hurt). Rightfully one of the most revered music videos of the 80’s. Kids morphing into members of Twisted Sister is always excellent.

4.  Don’t Let’s Start by They Might Be Giants – Monochrome, crazy dancing, William Allen White heads, and fast-motion filming (the lip syncing is amazing). There is also an accordion explosion at one point. Another favorite among many great videos.

5.  Radar Love by Golden Earring  - A Reliant Robin is the best vehicle for high speed chases ever. Men seducing female cops to get out of a ticket is also super slick. I have a fondness for videos that tell a story that is completely unrelated to the song.

6.  Telephone by Sheena Easton – Speaking of unrelated to the song. I have no idea why Sheena is in a haunted house full of classic movie monsters, but I like it. Sheena is sexy when she is angry (well, more sexy).

7.  I Believe in a Thing Called Love by The Darkness – British glam rock for the Naughties. It’s got space ships, space monsters, a wall or amps, and rocking so hard that you shoot lightning. It’s also got a lot of Justin Hawkins skin (a lot).

8.  Diamond Smiles by Boomtown Rats – A negative look at superficial social life. Visually I like both the white set and Bob on a checkered floor in a checkered shirt. Why does Jonnie Fingers always play the piano lying down?

9.  Family Man by Hall and Oates – Hall and Oates are so stupendous that they turn a boring family of six into exciting Hall and Oates clones, the band is attacked by some ravenous children, and the ending is weirdly ominous. I just love Oates’ guitar playing dance.

10.  Chemistry by Semisonic – It is a music video version of one of those romantic comedies with the big ensemble cast full of various personality types. There is also some Rube Goldburg machine stuff going on. Semisonic generally had well filmed music videos.

11.  No Way but the Hard Way by Airbourne – Australian pub rock with modern music videos is a definite win-win. The video premise is that Airboure is so hardcore that they trash the offices of a record label, and then proceed to play music on the roof (probably based on a true story).  I really enjoy the reactions of the office staff.

12.  Wild Boys by Duran Duran – It’s like if Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome and Barbarella had a baby and it was a musical. It was also a mutant, and it was also great.

13.  One Night in Bangkok by Murray Head – Murray in the seedy chess playing underbelly of Bangkok. Very related to the story of the song without being lame literal storyboards of the lyrics, and since I love the story of this song, that’s excellent.

14.  Sledge Hammer by Peter Gabriel – It starts with an egg being fertilized, which is basically how every video should start. Then Peter gives a display of facial dexterity before a very impressive stop motion animation video.

15.  Rosanna by Toto – Toto is having a jam session in the streets when all of a sudden Cynthia Rhodes shows up and starts Dirty Dancing. Then Patrick Swayze gets into a West Side Story style gang fight (apparently I have a thing for West Side Story style gang fights in videos). Cynthia teasing the guys on the other side of the fence is pretty legendary.

16.  Got My Mind Set on You by George Harrison – This song is so catchy that every object in the room starts dancing along. Just a really simple but charming video. The really bad doubling is also a plus in my book. I definitely like it more that this version (I hesitate to support videos that are carried solely by the sex appeal of someone who is not in the band, and the previous video doesn't count because it was topical with the song, or something).

17.  Sandstorm by Darude – It is like some talented college students made an amateur cyberpunk movie. The plot doesn’t really make any sense, the acting is janky, and the budget shows, but it has style. Really it’s all about the clean, bright, cyberpunky style for me. At least it didn’t go this route (way to keep it classy techno).


18.  All the Things She Said by t.A.T.u. – Wet Russian Schoolgirls Kissing. Yep.


Authors Note: 59 link in one post is probably a new personal record. Most of them seemed useful though (although I shudder to think of someone who doesn't know Animal House), and I learned how to link to a specific time in a YouTube video, so that's neat.

2013/01/27

Top Ten (Sixteen) Words


1.  Stupendous - an adjective that can make anything sound cool, and a great replacement for the overused "awesome". 

2.  Indubitably - can class up any conversations, and I have a sentimental attachment since this was my favorite word when I was about eight years old.

3.  Any word with –ness - the ability to turn any word into a noun is a power that I prefer to weild with reckless abandon.

4.  Milquetoast - it creates such a good mental image, and it's spelt amusingly.

5.  Veritable Cornucopia - technically two words, but best when used together. It can infuse any statement with gravitas (gravitas is also a great word).

6.  Philistine - my favorite insult, especially because the people I use it on generally don't know what it means.

7.  Asinine - just a good way to describe anything I don't like or understand.

8.  Aplomb - sounds kind of bumbling, but means that opposite.

9.  Lithe - pretty much just like this one because it sounds sexy.

10.  Heinous - another good way to describe things I don't like, and it sounds like anus.

11.  Flocculation - a really impressive sounding technical term that I just want to casually drop into conversations.

12.  Tot - adorable. 

13.  Scintillate - it sound very exciting and magical.

14.  Stud - probably the single manliest word ever (erection being a close second).

15.  Chortle - a word that makes me do what it describes.

16. Sternutation - makes sneezing sound important.