Cosmic Questions

It’s time to definitively answer some questions that no one else seems to want to answer. Let’s do this.

First up: Can God create a stone so heavy even He can’t lift it?

           

Answer: No. To elaborate, omnipotence means that you can do anything, not create anything. The whole question is just a cleverly disguised contradiction. You could rephrase it as “Can God do so much that he does something that he can’t do?”, and that doesn’t make any sense. The dude can lift anything with finite mass, end of story. I say finite mass because an object of infinite mass would break the universe (infinite gravitational attraction to every other object sort of thing). I guess He could create something of infinite mass, destroy the universe, and then fail to lift it because it no longer exists. I want to change my answer.

Number Two: If we evolved from monkeys, why are there still monkeys?

Answer: First of all, apes. We evolved from apes. Secondly, the major evolutionary step between us and apes was moving out of the forests and into the plains. The difference in habitat meant that we were no longer competing or breeding between groups. All the species between us and apes that lived in the plains our ancestors either killed off or interbred with, so that’s why they aren’t around anymore. Apes meanwhile were having their own evolutionary history separated from ours by a bunch of trees.

Number Tree: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?

Answer: A tree can’t fall in the forest if no one is around to observer it. All the unobserved trees simply exist in state of superposition where they are both fallen and standing simultaneously. It's not until the trees are observed that their wave functions collapse and they exist in a specific state.

Question the Fourth: Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Answer: This depends on whether you believe in creation or evolution. In creation, God made a chicken 6,000 odd years ago and it promptly started laying eggs, so chicken first. For evolution, something that wasn’t quite a chicken laid an egg that hatched into the first chicken, so egg first (I’m assuming the egg in questing is “egg that will hatch into a chicken).

V: How do we fix global warming?

Answer: Do nothing and just let the climate sort itself out. When the temperature rise due to greenhouse gases the icecaps will melt and raise the sea level. It’s not like anybody lives on the coast or anything. Increasing the surface area of the oceans will work as a heat sink helping to balance temperatures. Increased evaporation will result in increased rains (more surface area equals more evaporation right?), which is a natural way of scrubbing CO2 from the atmosphere. Bonus points if the ocean currents change and Europe loses the Gulf Stream. All those new glacier in Northern Europe will be a good storage of water, helping keep sea level down (I’m sure no one would mind is France has the climate of North Dakota and Ireland is indistinguishable from Newfoundland). All that CO2 from the coal and oil is really just what was already in the air a few hundred million years ago. Sure the only terrestrial life supported back then was amphibians and arthropods, but that’s nothing that a few mass extinctions can’t fix. I think we can all stop worrying.

One that I already kind of covered: Zeno’s Paradox

Answer: Look at this math formula that is basically what Zeno is describing.

One is a number between zero and two. It’s also between 0.9 and 1.1. It is in no way infinity. If you can’t get to one from zero you have problems.

Last one: What is the sound of one hand clapping?

Answer: One hand can’t clap. Clapping is defined as “to strike the palms of (one's hands) against one another resoundingly. You need two hands to do that.

Well, I hope we all learned something today. Feel free to ask me more questions so that I can completely annihilate them with my logic and reasoning.

Another Ten (Twelve) Music Videos

            I’m doing another list of music videos because I just really like music videos and found more that should have been on my original list. I like some of these videos more than previously ranked ones, so I’m going to Dewey Decimal them into the old numbering.

1.5  Harden My Heart – Quarterflash

            I’m really ashamed that I missed this one on the first list. This is one of the most dream-like videos that I’ve ever seen. I just wish that my dreams were this good. Rindy Ross in a unitard, 80’s Peter Dinklage, running into younger versions of yourself, and saxophone solos (also featuring Rindy); what I wouldn’t give for a dream with any one of those. Don’t forget dudes in tuxedoes on dirt bikes and an ending where a bull dozer knocks over the set and then someone (also in a tux) lights it on fire with a flame thrower. This is probably the greatest thing that has ever been accomplished in a gravel pit.

2.5  Parking Lot Nights – Ghosthustler

            A Power Glove wearing misanthrope physically assaults people in a parking lot after dark. Beyond the Power Glove it has a lot of other nice 80’s touches; VHS quality, a NES set up on an 80’s TV, breakdancing, lasers, and great music. A hidden gem to be sure.

4.5  Music Is My Radar – Blur

            Synchronized dancing by people dressed to look kind of like robots (body suits and bike helmets) while everyone else doesn’t react to it. The dancing is just hypnotic and great. British talk shows look boring during the not commercial break parts. I like other Blur videos, but this is my favorite

6.5  Taking This Town – Icehouse

            I’ll just start out by saying that I prefer Iva Davies without the mullet. My favorite part of the video is probably the crazy dudes in the colored outfits riding motorcycles through whitewashed ruins, but the crowd rushing out to jam in front of the stage and the painted guys in underwear dancing on the scaffolding were good touches as well. This was the golden age of male homoeroticism right here. Featuring the Fairlight CMI is a nice 80’s touch.

7.5  Take on Me – A-ha

            I was tempted not to do this one because it’s just too obvious, but I think it still deserves recognition. The whole pencil sketches that come to life are great but there’s more than just that. There’s evil Fins, a romance story, cuts to Norwegians playing instruments, and an ending that might be ripping off Altered States.

12.5  Love is a Battlefield – Pat Benatar

            Pat is just such a rebel. She leaves home to strike out on her own on the mean street of City I Don’t Recognize, but when some sleazy dude is bothering a girl in a bar, she and all the other punked out chicks unite and intimidate him with some choreographed dancing (I would be freaked out too if a bunch of women spontaneously started doing that chest shake move at me). When he tries to dance back she throws a drink in his face and then all the chicks dance out of the bar and into the sunrise.

14.3  What Is Love – Haddaway

            Haddaway is being chased around a haunted mansion by some scantily clad, club dancing vampires. It has some decently cool backwards effects and snap zooms into people’s crotches. It’s got something for everyone!

14.7  Playing With the Boys – Kenny Loggins

            This one is special because I actually like two videos for this song. The official one is about a “battle of the sexs” volleyball game. It has lots of high fives, 80’s chicks, an underdog victory from behind, and Kenny Loggins jumping into frame to sing directly into the camera. It's pretty much an entire 80's sports movie in under five minutes. It's easy to read in all the necessary character; the main character who is basically perfect in every way but has confidence issues (red, white, and blue girl), her wise cracking best friend (pink and white), the one with unrestrained sexuality as a primary trait (blonde hair, white top), a quirky foreigner (dark blue top and pony tail, who I read as Swedish), a single black character (black girl), and the duchy/date-rapey bully (guy who does finger pistols). The other video I like is just a series of Top Gun clips, which is hard to beat. You could play any song with scenes from Top Gun and I would like it, but Kenny just takes it over the top. It’s true that “one of life’s simple joys is Playing with the Boys”.

15.5  Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go – Wham!

            Never has the mood of a video matched the song so perfectly. It’s basically the most cheerful thing ever, and that’s even before everyone gets into pastel clothes (which is before the black light scene!). The audience of young women ogling George Michael in his short shorts makes me feel kind of bad for George, but he’s just so happy in the video that this soon passes.

17.3  Physical – Olivia Newton-John

            It got classy 80’s fitness stuff to start out. Then Olivia antagonizes some fat dudes, but when she takes a shower they got really fit. Plot twist when the guys are so fit that they get turned on by each other and they forget about her. She end up playing tennis with another fat guy, so a happy ending I guess. Olivia just oozing sex the whole time is a plus too.

17.7  Ballad of Bilbo Baggins – Leonard Nemoy

            Words fail to describe, so you should probably just watch it. I will say that Leonard Nemoy can add dignity to literally anything. This song is set for a comeback with the new movies and all.

19.  Don’t Look Back – Fine Young Cannibals

            This is the epitome of an 80’s music video for me. I just imagine someone learning the new art of video effects, finding some stuff that looks cools, and making a music video out. The technology was so new that they had no choice but to be original. The video is basically just the band performing the song, but with some well used blurs, smudges, and flashing images they make something that’s fun to watch.

If anything is to be learned by this list it’s that I really love the 80’s, appreciate the 90’s, think the greatest thing you can do in a music video is have the vocalist jump into frame and sing directly into the camera, and enjoy videos with more creativity than budget. I cooled it a bit with the links on this one (I got a little carried away last time).

Cob's Dreams

I started a new blog because I apparently don't have enough to work on. It's called Cob's Dreams because I apparently like simple yet descriptive names. It's about my dreams with some self analysis and auguries thrown in for spice because apparently one blog about the idiosyncrasies of my thoughts isn't enough. It all started when I began writing down my dream. Next I decided to draw them, and then I decided to share them. The drawing are a good way to push my skills, so the quality is questionable but they're more ambitious than some of my other stuff. My poor handle of perspective and scale only adds to the dream like quality (I wish). I'm still catching up on some backlog, but I hope to eventually update this blog nearly every day. If this blog isn't unreadable enough for you feel free to check out the new one. I also added an Other Stuff I've Written page on this blog so you can find links to all of my internet ramblings in one convenient place. Cob out.

Why is everything on the end table so tiny?

The Appreciation of Pictures

            What is art? Now that I’ve been engaging in possible art-like activities I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Am I doing art? Am I not doing art? Is art even a thing that you can do? Let’s talk about it.

            I’ve heard it said that art has no function but itself. I struggle to even comprehend the implications of this definition. Personally, my drawings are meant to convey meanings. I’m trying to express feelings, thoughts, and even humor. I’m using it to communicate, and that seems like a function outside of art itself. Apparently I’m not doing art. Does that mean stuff like Emily Dickinson’s poetry is real art? Maybe art is writing poems just because you can and not actively sharing them. It might just be me, but I still see function in this. Writing down thoughts and feelings helps relieve mental tension and expands your understanding. These are functional things. Emily is out then. All that leaves is really abstract stuff. Say I make a snow ball and throw it at a concrete wall just to see what kind of pattern it makes. Art? Nothing is communicated since I’m by myself and the snow will quickly melt. I don’t gain any new understandings (other than more reinforcement for my belief in physical laws, but that would only really be something if it didn’t follow expectations). It does make me feel kind of good. Is that a function? I’m pretty sure this definition of art is terrible, and I’m going to abandon it.

Art?

            It’s time to come up with my own definition. How about; anything that conveys meaning in a subjective manner. The word subjective is the important part. Who cares about if art is creative or useful; I think the important aspect is that it’s different for everyone. Real art should generate a personal experience for anyone that encounters it. For any item or art; be it song, drawing, sculpture, book, or anything else; some people should enjoy it and some people shouldn’t. They should also do it for personal and unique reasons. Furthermore, the people who don’t like art are just as important as the ones who do. If everyone liked art it wouldn’t be the same. Inventing a device to make anyone’s brain experience a designated feeling isn’t art. If I like “One Night in Bangkok” because it’s a metaphor for my life, another person likes it for the Thailand references, and another person hates it because they think the 80’s were the lowest point in music history, that’s good. That’s great. That’s ART.

            Just as someone who doesn’t like art is important to the art, art someone doesn’t like is important to the person. If you don’t like modern pop music, that doesn’t mean that it’s bad and shouldn’t exist. If everyone just “made music like they used to” then there would be no variety, no originality, no contrast. If disliked music didn’t exist, you couldn’t understand liked music. All you could say is “I like music”. That still implies a contrast (as in music over painting), so all you could really say is “I Like” and that doesn’t have any meaning. There needs to be contrast for anything to have real meaning. If black didn’t exist alongside white I would have a really hard time trying to get any points across.

            In conclusion, I think art for an individual is distinguishing what is liked from what it not. Drawing has made me much more aware of this. Now when I look at an illustration I note things like the line work, coloring, shading, realism, and perspective. I then decide if I like them or not. This goes beyond things that would traditionally be described as art. While brushing my teeth this morning I was looking at the way my hand held the brush and how the brush entered my mouth and was able to view it the same way I would a painting. Some positions were good and some weren’t. Different arrangement conveyed different meanings. I suddenly have no idea where my definition of art stops, but I think that’s a good thing. 

Comics!

I drew a thing:

This is my first actual comic that I've finished and is basically just a test to see if I can make emotive faces. I've been working all week on character design (by which I mean head shape, haircut, and uncomplicated clothes) and figuring out how I want to draw. I think I'm on the verge of mediocrity. My goal is to have some sort of comic site going by the end of the year. Also, I plan to do some more actual writing at some point; because where would I be without dorky essays on esoteric topics?

Montage

This is what I've been up to lately:

So, I quit my job to become a writer and the first thing I do is make a video. Don't question my methods. It just seemed like the right thing to do, and I learned a lot. Mostly I learned that a montage is probably too ambitious of a project for someone without much experience making movies. I suck at lighting (my bathroom is the only lighting I liked), acting (my face is just all over the place, all the time), shooting (as in I just set the camera down and let auto-focus fail for me), and editing (I don't even begin to understand proper montage construction). On the other hand, I think my shot positioning wasn't terrible, and I built a rig our of cardboard to hold my camera that I'm pretty proud of.

All this so I could cut my hair

Next time I think I'll just talk into a camera while sitting at my desk... or maybe I should stick to writing.