It’s time
to definitively answer some questions that no one else seems to want to answer.
Let’s do this.
First up: Can God create a stone so heavy even He can’t lift it?
Answer: No. To elaborate, omnipotence means that you can do
anything, not create anything. The whole question is just a cleverly disguised
contradiction. You could rephrase it as “Can God do so much that he does
something that he can’t do?”, and that doesn’t make any sense. The dude can
lift anything with finite mass, end of story. I say finite mass because an
object of infinite mass would break the universe (infinite gravitational
attraction to every other object sort of thing). I guess He could create something
of infinite mass, destroy the universe, and then fail to lift it because it no
longer exists. I want to change my answer.
Number Two: If we evolved from monkeys, why are there still
monkeys?
Answer: First of all, apes. We evolved from apes. Secondly,
the major evolutionary step between us and apes was moving out of the forests
and into the plains. The difference in habitat meant that we were no longer competing
or breeding between groups. All the species between us and apes that lived in
the plains our ancestors either killed off or interbred with, so that’s why they aren’t
around anymore. Apes meanwhile were having their own evolutionary history
separated from ours by a bunch of trees.
Number Tree: If a tree falls in the forest and no one is
around to hear it, does it make a sound?
Answer: A tree can’t fall in the forest if no one is around
to observer it. All the unobserved trees simply exist in state of superposition
where they are both fallen and standing simultaneously. It's not until the
trees are observed that their wave functions collapse and they exist in a
specific state.
Question the Fourth: Which came first, the chicken or the
egg?
Answer: This depends on whether you believe in creation or
evolution. In creation, God made a chicken 6,000 odd years ago and it
promptly started laying eggs, so chicken first. For evolution, something that
wasn’t quite a chicken laid an egg that hatched into the first chicken, so egg
first (I’m assuming the egg in questing is “egg that will hatch into a chicken).
V: How do we fix global warming?
Answer: Do nothing and just let the climate sort itself out.
When the temperature rise due to greenhouse gases the icecaps will melt and
raise the sea level. It’s not like anybody lives on the coast or anything. Increasing
the surface area of the oceans will work as a heat sink helping to balance
temperatures. Increased evaporation will result in increased rains (more
surface area equals more evaporation right?), which is a natural way of
scrubbing CO2 from the atmosphere. Bonus points if the ocean currents change
and Europe loses the Gulf Stream. All those new glacier in Northern Europe will
be a good storage of water, helping keep sea level down (I’m sure no one would
mind is France has the climate of North Dakota and Ireland is indistinguishable
from Newfoundland). All that CO2 from the coal and oil is really just what was already in the air a few hundred million years ago. Sure the only terrestrial
life supported back then was amphibians and arthropods, but that’s nothing that
a few mass extinctions can’t fix. I think we can all stop worrying.
Answer: Look at this math formula that is basically what
Zeno is describing.
One is a number between zero and two. It’s also between 0.9
and 1.1. It is in no way infinity. If you can’t get to one from zero you have
problems.
Last one: What is the sound of one hand clapping?
Answer: One hand can’t clap. Clapping is defined as “to strike the palms of (one's hands) against one
another resoundingly. You need two hands to do that.
Well, I hope we all learned something today. Feel free to
ask me more questions so that I can completely annihilate them with my logic
and reasoning.
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