Duck Facts

            It’s been I while since I’ve written anything, but what better way to come back than with more Duck Facts! Let’s just say that I have spent this hiatus in tireless research so that I could share these new and amazing facts about the universe’s greatest animal. Here they are:

1. A duck’s strength is proportional, by volume, to 42 Arnold Schwarzeneggers.
2. Duck webs are stronger and lighter than carbon nanotubes.
3. The pyramids were built by ducks.
4. Ground duck horn cures impotence, and also cancer.
5. In ancient Assyria the duck was a symbol of virtue.
6. Ducks are invisible to radar.
7. If you combine duck poop and diesel fuel you get napalm.
8. Cows with perfect karma are reincarnated as ducks.
9. The preening oil produced by a duck’s uropygial gland is waterproof, fireproof, blocks 99.99% of UVA and UVB rays, and smells like lilacs.
10. Ducks have 12 lives.
11. The Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle applies to ducks on a macroscopic level.
12. If you stare into a duck’s eyes you can see the meaning of life.
13. There is no word in the Finnish language that rhymes with duck.
14. Humans share 102% or our DNA with ducks (they have all of ours, plus some).
15. If a woman weighs the same as a duck she’s a witch (ducks also reverse newtification)
16. In Soviet Russia, ducks hunt you.
17. I would never lie about ducks.
18. Duck tears reverse aging.
19. Male ducks have a corkscrew shaped penis that can be up to 25% of the length of their bodies and is capable of explosive erections.
20. Ducks can survive indefinitely in vacuum and can withstand temperatures ranging from 6 to 1282 Rankine.
21. Some West African ducks have been known to spontaneously change sex from male to female in a single sex environment.
22. If a fox mates with a duck it produces a red furred flying mammal. It’s called a dox (nobody knows what it sounds like). If a dox breed with a ram it will give birth to a large wooly flying mammal, with horns. It’s called a rox. If a rox and a salamander have sex the baby is giant red flying lizard with horns that breathes fire. It’s called a shit.

Who's laughing now?